What Does the Future Have In Store?

I have been considering quite a bit lately what my future has in store. I have one more semester of coursework left to be followed by my qualifying exams. Next academic year I will be working on my dissertation; I already have an idea of what I would like to do, but I’m not exactly sure yet how I’ll pull it off.

But on top of all that starting next fall I’ll start looking for my first job as an assistant professor. The entire process is starting to tie my insides up in knots. I don’t know what to expect, and I really am nervous about the entire process.

I’m not sure that I’m good enough for some of the better schools out there. My friends keep telling me that I should have no problem and that I have built my vitae for these good jobs, but I just don’t know. Maybe I have some sort of inferiority complex, but I just don’t think I’m at the caliber of some of the people at those schools. I did recently have a friend of mine tell me that they would take offense if I didn’t try to get a job at one of the better programs (given that they have a job available next year). I will apply, but I’m not sure how will I do.

And then top that off with the fact that I’m in a relationship that ties the other person to Indiana, and I really don’t know how I’m going to get through next fall without developing an ulcer.